You're the reason

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby

PS: iLOVEyou skinny coolie.

Treats for my sweet

Happy 21st Birthday to you BABY(:

Open up your arms and embrace your adulthood with good grace.

Save the last kiss

They say ageing and death are part and parcel of life. You see, everyone knows they're going to die one day, however, we often live in self-denial because when it comes to dying, it's just so hard. We are simply too involved in this materialistic world and they don't satisfy us enough - human greed. The loving relationships we have, the people around us, we take all these for granted. I'm not ashame to declare i am one of the culprits beacuse this is what all humans are fond of; do the things now, forget later and this cycle just goes on non-stop. Well, the truth is we will begin to appreciate more if we realise we are going to die and see things in a different light. Being the culprit like everyone does, i still hold on dearly to my loved ones because i believe in embracing them in their lifetime.

PS: I wanna grow old with you. Will you take my hands & walk it through?

Infect me with some Mr Merry

"Success is getting what you want.
But happiness is wanting what you get"

I am so restless because lately, i am not registered for any trials till april, unemployed and haven't been able to attend trainings (i missed terribly). All these brutal facts are tormenting me bitterly and shattering me into tiny fragments, albeit staying in is a comforting fact - yes, i am contravening my statement. I am too distracted for anything right now.

It was my weekly meetup with huiqi yesterday, watched "Rule #1" at PS - the fact that we were both cowering in fear and peeping through our fingers with our hands slapped in our face. What else could be done because the boyfriends are sealed off from the civilian world.

Monday at pasta mania after the boyfriend's MRI scan. After much failed attempts to catch a movie, finally "10,000 BC" at Vivo and it was stay over at my place. I received my purple birkies and bangles from Estee, which the boyfriend collected for me. Thanks both. Yes, i am so delighted because the first thing i did when i got home was to rip off the nicely wrapped parcel - the boyfriend knew me too well for that, he'd expected me to do that.

Tuesday, my dad drove the boyfriend back to camp in the morning. I was literally idling at home the whole day - taking long naps and watching vcds, when the boyfriend stood outside the door. No doubt, smiled ear to ear at the sight of him. Dinner was homecooked by my mum and dessert was peanut & sesame glutinous rice balls. Will you still love me if i'm fat, ugly and of destitute?

PS: Thanks so much for all you've done.

Keep forever.

"A satin heart and a red rose,
Slithered through the concealed wilderness.
The placebo effect - in your presence,
It is finally uncovered.
Tender. Melody. Pastel."

It is snugging up today in my liberated space with much intensive readings. Placing myself out there in the congested malls in a weekend would be so suffocating especially when there is sale going on lately. I've always been an ardent shopper - no more. Because online spreeing is much more convenient, cheaper and needless to say, 'no congestion'.

Wednesday, the boyfriend managed to book out for 3 hours or so, to pay off his 'NS debt'. Lunch was Long John's at Jurong Point, when somehow the cashier (auntie) had a hearing problem and upsized all our drinks and the clam chowder. We had a water parade. The boyfriend went in camp at 1600.


Dinner was with my mum and aunt at Centre Point's Parkway Thai Restaurant and headed to OG orchard point where they had a sale only for members and VIP guests. As good as it sounded, the mall was packed like sardines - i was sceptical about the invitational sale preview at that instant.




The first attempt for a gathering after graduating was held on thursday with our dear friend pamela, who had gone into disappearing act when she switched off her cell. Dinner proceeded without her at Shokodu Japanese Food Bazaar (Japanese marche).

Fallible brutes

To err is human, to forgive divine. How much forgiveness to spare when the life of a person is at stake? I am going to rant on how inexperience the MO is - he can actually diagnose spondolysis when the specialist cannot even see a hairline crack in the X-ray. Some soul searching to be done for the MO please. The boyfriend was out today for a good few hours for his medical appointment at Alexandra. Before that, we went for breakfast at Mac, it was a short temporary pleasure to be having breakfast on a weekday with the boyfriend. Afterwhich, we headed to visit his dad's friend who is waiting for his dignosis of his brain tumour. The patients were all down with brain tumour, i supposed - with their hair shaved and some surgical scar on their scalp. It hurts to notice a sight like this but afterall, his dad's friend is living strong for himself and those around him. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Saturday was having a late lunch with my mum at Hotpot Culture; Marina. The herbal soup base tasted much better than the Kimchi's with us ordering the seafood and chicken set each. After eating, mum headed home and i went to meet the boyfriend & attended his friend's 21st birthday at Changi.

Sunday was attending the Esplanade briefing for monday's trial with Yishun Secondary and mahjong session with my cousin and his girlfriend over at my place. Dinner was a speedy one at Nihon Mura (yes..again), it took us 5 minutes or less to settle down and a mere 20 minutes to finish up the food. The boyfriend stayed over because booking in was on monday morning.

Honey-coated candy

How does it feels to be living in solitude?

Loneliness is my greatest fear. I know very well i cannot have a solitary life - whenever i spot someone eating, catching a movie or shopping alone, i will show empathy for them. Not because i find them downright pathetic to be doing all those alone but i cannot stand the idea of others doing that due to my fear.

However when things come my way, i would choose to confine myself momentarily in my seclusive cave to think things through, let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely and eventually be able to say "All right, everything is over now. I should put it aside."

A few hours ago, i had tuition, was only expecting my mum to be waiting for me and was totally taken aback when i saw the boyfriend. Yes, i was frozen for words and the little surprise made me smile ear to ear for a good whole 5 min or so, feeling a surge of love. Yes, i am still in a state of felicity while writing this post.

Thursday was excursion to the Labrador Park with Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary. This particular boy who always left his team members to either wander alone or hogged onto me with silly questions and always mentioning Mas Selemat, asked:

Boy: Can i jump down the sea?

Me: Why? You want to die is it?
Boy: Yes (smile coyly)

By the way, he was nicknamed 'Princess Ming' by his primary 5 teacher because he behaved like a sissy girl who resembles a princess, claimed his classmates. Once again, he smiled coyly at his classmates' remark.

PS: I love you. I can't wait to start on my newly arrived book.

Hope is the antithesis of despair.

It's Tuesday and there's something to rejoice about - my condition is improving gradually. Yes, deep in me, i can't wait to get over it soon. Next tuesday shall be the boyfriend's medical appointment, looking forward to another piece of good news. It was lunch at Changing Appetite swith my mum and shopping spree at John Little's sale. My mum felt hungry soon after and went to eat a bowl of curry chicken noodle and sweet potatoe soup, while i was watching her on with my bloated state. I am now exasperated from all those walkings when we finally made it home 1 hour ago since 11am.

The boyfriend and i did the usual meet ups on Saturday, throbbed down to Vivo with the intention of catching The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, to our dismay, it was sold out. It was then a late lunch at Food Republic and ice-cream at Ben & Jerry's. We headed seperate ways home and off to meet my family for dinner at Nihon Mura. It had been quite sometime since i had dinner with my family on a weekend and it sure felt blessed to be spending time with them.

Trying hard to savour on food he dislikes;

China guy flashing his CK underwear;

Sunday was snuggling myself up at home - a pleasant comfort zone to be sought after on a rainy day. It was intensive reading session and i ripped off a book online: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne with my mum's credit card. Headed off with my mum to her friend's stall for laksa and prawn noodle at Tiong Bahru and i had a good laugh at her for being a hawker wannabe when she was all dressed up. We cabbed down to my cousin's and apparently the journey albeit a short one, was a terrible disaster with the feeble cab driver stepping onto the accelerator and the brake at the same time and my mum directing him the directions throughout. Dinner at Vivo's Dian Xiao Er. Thumbs up for its drunken duck meat. Grocery shopping at giant (this time, without the boyfriend) and peanut butter & french toasts at Toast Box. We all had good laugh at my cousin's friend's crude remark where someone should barbeque mei zhen xiang pork outside the cell of the JI terrorist to deter him from escaping. The boyfriend travelled down to my house and it was a short exchange of talks before my mum drove him to be locked up in his weekdays cell again.